Mother’s Day Tidings

I love funny greeting cards.  I love slightly mushy greeting cards with a sweet little picture on the front, usually of two kids imitating something a grown-up couple might do.  I love greeting cards that say it short and sweet and exactly like I might have done it.  I will stand in the greeting card aisle for hours laughing and taking pictures of cards with my phone to text to my sister so that hopefully she will laugh, too.  It is really good, cheap therapy.  I say cheap and not free because I usually buy a peppermint patty or something to compensate the drugstore after I have scared off several customers who came down the stationary aisle to find me in tears and stitches at some hilarious card or another.  (I don’t have a great love for peppermint patties, either, just something about drugstores induces me to buy them – anyone else?)

This past week, though, a much anticipated therapy session was, instead, many moments of frustration and disbelief at the complete lack of funny, genuine or just plain decent cards for Mother’s Day – why?  Even Hallmark’s Shoebox division, which is my go-to favorite for cards, has a blackhole of any kind of ‘greeting’ I might want to send ANY mother I  know.

So, I am going to just say a few words to all of you moms from a mom, inspired by the mundane. You will receive some pretty rough, cheesy, forlorn greeting cards this year.  For that, I apologize that I wasn’t more pro-active in staging my revolt with the greeting card industry.

Dear Mom,

You have children.  You are a woman.  Thus, you are a mom.

You spend 20% of your waking hours doing laundry. You eat standing up sometimes.  It is a special skill, unique to those millions of women who are moms.

Sometimes you are selfish and, like, take a bath.  Maybe light a candle.  But, mostly, you pour yourself into some little lives.  Whether you are reading to them, reading something they wrote, praying for them, changing their sheets, driving them to practice, wiping their noses, feeding them something (homemade or not), playing games with them, working puzzles with them, helping them with homework, watching a school play, just watching them play with other kids – all this is you pouring yourself into them.

Maybe you feel a little poured out.  Like laundry detergent into another load.

If so, don’t lose hope.  Even though some days you feel more like you were the Arm & Hammer instead of full of Snuggle, you give your All so that someday these little lives will Gain confidence and courage and a Bounty of blessings.  So, keep rolling with the Tide – you will Bounce back, and so will they.  And, someday, you will look back.  And laugh, and cry.

But, you probably won’t miss the laundry.

Your legacy will not be how clean your kids’ clothes were, it will be that your kids weren’t naked. (most of the time)

Happy Mother’s Day!  With all sincerity, you are all amazing.